Lost in Translation

There is often a substantial language barrier here between native English speakers and native Thai speakers. It can sometimes make for some funny misunderstandings. I was buying a pair of pants the other day and after haggling the price down, felt like a jerk when I had to ask the store clerk to break a 1,000 Baht. I asked him, "how do you say 'I'm sorry'?" He replied, "Nepal". I'm not Thai but I'm pretty sure that's not correct. My best guess is he thought I was asking where the pants were made.

Earlier today a man was offering henna tattoos on the beach. The girl next to us (who I think may have actually been American--which is way less common than you'd think!) accepted and picked out a design. As the man was sitting down to start on her tattoo he looked over at me and said "you want?" and then pointed to his adorable 7 or 8 year old son. I shook my head and he laughed and started work on her henna tattoo. I turned to Caitlin and asked "did he just...?" and she goes, "offer you his son?" We had a good laugh. Our best guess was that he was offering to let his son give me a henna tattoo...I think I'd prefer he'd have offered me the kid! Haha.

There is this wonderful fruit here that they sell along the beach. It's sweet and sour and has a waxy feel and look to it. We wanted to know what it was called so that we would know how to ask for it in the future. When Caitlin asked the woman selling it, however, she replied "grapefruit". Once again, there's no way that's correct. Haha. Although it could be in the same family! It's substantially sweeter though.

(Update: I learned it's called Pomelo!)

And then there are the common misspellings when they write in English. For example this sign we saw on our way out of Patong:

The best part about this is that this sign was about 10 feet long and 5 feet high. Hard to miss. Another word they commonly misspell is burger, which they often write as "burgur". My favorite so far, though, is this pillow we saw in the mall:

Please, don't distrub.

The most ridiculous, though, by far has been some of the T-shirts that we've seen Thai people wearing. It's common here for Thais to wear shirts in English, even if they don't actually know what it means. For example, one of my first days here Matt and I saw a woman in Homeworks (think Bed, Bath and Beyond) wearing a shirt that read "I F*** for Love"...Seriously, can't make this up. And even more inappropriate, there was a pregnant mother who came to Matt's school wearing a shirt that read "I F*** on the First Date"...she was called into the principal's office and was MORTIFIED when they explained to her what it meant. I'm certainly going to think twice before buying a shirt in Thai.

Dogs and Street Vendors

I realized earlier today that in all my writing I have somehow neglected to mention the crazy amount of stray dogs that roam our neighborhood! To be fair they may not all be strays. The Thais treat their dogs like animals and let them fend for themselves, often making it hard to distinguish between those with homes and those without. Regardless of whether they're technically strays or not, there are a lot of them and they're not friendly! Matt and I have both been chased by them on the motorbike. Neither of us have actually been bitten (thank god!) but I'm not going to lie, they're pretty scary. I watched the Thais and they completely ignore them. If there is one lesson I've learned since moving here it is when in doubt, follow the Thais. I realized then that the only time the dogs come at me is when I'm looking at them. These dogs live on the street so they have to be defensive and aggressive to survive. So thanks to copying the Thais I learned that if you walk right by the dogs without acknowledgement, they ignore you. Phew! This was a key lesson as I have to walk the 5-7 minute walk out of our neighborhood every morning to catch the bus. Not fun to do when you're constantly in fear of being chased by stray dogs! Haha. Ahhh the adventures of living in Thailand...

There is another group that is just as aggressive and persistent as the dogs in our neighborhood, they're the street vendors in Patong.

As you walk down the sidewalk (I use the word "sidewalk" generously) as a farang you are constantly hassled by the shop owners "Madame! Madame! DVDs?", "Come come look!", "Massage?", "Tuk tuk?" etc etc.. It is so bad that they themselves even sell shirts that read "No I don't want a f***in Tuk Tuk, Massage or DVD!" Haha ahh the irony as they try to push you to buy this shirt...

What I realized today is that you utilize the same technique on these vendors that you do with the dogs! Don't make eye contact or linger, stare ahead and walk right by. If you look at something for more than a second, they will attack! Haha. So to speak. If they see any bit of an opening, they'll corner you and present all kinds of souvenirs while offering "good price"...which of course is never a good price because c'mon, you're a farang. You're where they make their money! The best phrase I've learned here so far is "tâo rài kah?" which means "how much?", the SECOND you ask this in Thai, their whole demeanor changes! They're so impressed and they love when you try to speak Thai...coincidentally their price always drops significantly as well. Like I said, best phrase ever.

Going to the Movies in Thailand

Wednesday was a rainy day and it's also half-off at the movies so Caitlin and I decided to venture to Central Festival (the big mall near where Matt and I live) to catch a movie. In Thailand there are two options for your movie viewing experience, the regular movie theater and something called "first class". "First class" is about 7x the price of the regular movie experience (which was 100 Baht/$3). It includes lazy boys for each person, a table and a server! There's a buffet and they bring you cocktails to your seat lazy boy recliner.




As amazing as the whole experience sounded, we couldn't really justify spending 700 Baht/$20 on Grown Ups 2 (they obviously have a limited selection of English movies) haha so we opted for the good old normal no-leg-room theater.

Another interesting part of the movie-going experience here is a part during the previews before the main attraction when they ask everyone in the theater to please stand and pay respect while they play the King's anthem and photos of him scroll across the screen. In America this would be the equivalent of asking the audience to stand for the National Anthem during the movie trailers. They definitely do it a little differently here. It impresses me how much reverence they show their King. They not only respect him, they genuinely love him.